When YOU make YOURSELF cry

Ahhhhhhh, this life thing, it's crazy wonderful right!?! And sometimes it's just plain crazy!
Lately I've been in a huge time of reflection, and spending time really examining myself.

{mostly during my drive time in my own car!!!! Whoopp!!}
Well lately these reflection times have brought me to the point of tears...

For me, in the past, times like this would usually lead to a "laundry list" of "changes" I felt I needed to make.

This last period of getting real with myself, which took on as many angles as I could find, was very different.

{whhewww, that's a good feeling!}

If you know me personally, or hopefully even through reading this blog you will see and know that "tooting my own horn" isn't something that I do or enjoy doing. I think I'm probably humble to a fault. That being said let me just share with you a bit more about my reflection time......

When I take a look at myself right now I see strength, I see love, I see grace and I see joy. I see a woman who rests her heart and life with God.  I see a woman who has sought after peace and love {geesh I sound like a freakin' hippy!!} In spite of the situations and circumstances that have wanted to bring otherwise.
My heart knows how much I've been challenged, and refined. In the last months I've had countless opportunities to make less than choice decisions, to do things that were not honoring, did not show love, or were not long term or God honoring decisions.
I've been tested you guys. This year has been the most difficult time in my life ever,
but you know what? I feel like I've passed my tests so far.
 I've never had a period in my life that has produced such a large trail of decisions that I am proud of.
That feels really amazing! 
This year has been a re-defining year. I've had many opportunities to re-shape myself into anything that I really wanted to be, and I have. Doing so has drawn more of a line that shows me, "Shannon, this is who you are...and this is who you are not" The choices that I made to shape me into more of who I wanted to be weeded out the "what I'm not's" I chose what I am not....and I'm proud of what I've chosen and what I've not chosen. When you're choices are intentional there is no room for guilt or feeling bad. Intentional choices allow you to stand strong.

 I feel like my masks are gone, my chains are gone and I am for maybe the first time standing in front of this world saying
here I am.....this is me, and this is what I have to offer
and I feel good about standing out there, just as I am.....
 I feel so comfortable in me, in my skin, heart and life! 

I'm so thankful to God for spilling so much into me during this time, and I'm proud of myself for listening, and allowing him to mold me as much as I've been humanly able to handle at this time. I'm doing my best to continue to stand with Him as he continues his good work in me.