Sooooo, those new year goals...... how are they goin' for you? I'm having a problem with mine....you see I want to put them in the microwave and have them piping hot and "done" in like 30 seconds. Thing is, most of them are going to take that thing that I sometimes dread, called TIME.
As I mentioned before, some of the goals that I've laid out are very specific, while others are more general. The specific ones were written by my brain....the general ones were written by my heart.
At the bottom of my sheet of paper I found myself writing the word, thrive.
I don't want to dive into the past too heavily, but I think many of you know last year took me through the ringer, to put it mildly. When this new year rolled around it held a lot of significance for me. The depths of how much I want to shake the past off of me and come to a totally new place in my life is like off the charts. I so badly want to have fully stepped into this new life that I now live.
I think a lot of times I don't really comprehend that I'm in the process of putting a wholenewlife together, a whole life!...like 100% it's all new. What I want, at times, instead of having to do it piece by piece is to just buy the pre-made kit and have it done already. Ding!
As much as I told myself that "it's going to take time" I think I stopped listening to that, and instead started looking at my goal list and feeling like I need to be doing more! I looked at the word thrive and decided that the proof of thriving was in a checked off goal list.
Letting motivation drive you to reach goals is a good thing.....letting your goal list beat you up...not such a good thing.
As much as my head doesn't want to believe it...rebuilding a whole new life...is going to take some time if I want to do it in a real and lasting way. I spent the last decade with a life that rested on a cracked foundation. I won't build that way again.
When I take the time to really look, it's obvious that I've made a trail in the sand. I've moved, I've progressed...I'm going forward, it's just some days when I bring out the ruler and measure how far I've come...to how far I want to go, the air begins to smell like defeat.
Now here comes the part where I pat myself on the back and send myself back on the field....ready?
I need to remember what the biggest thing actually is for me this year...it's not finding the mega career or making a zillion bucks so I can buy a house...the biggest thing is, me. Each day taking care of myself in whatever way that means for that day. Each day working with myself, enabling healing, and growth to take place. Stepping forward, even if it's inch by inch and shopping for new pieces of my life. Trying them out and seeing how they fit, how they work for me. This year is the year to heal me. Doing this is the foundation to growing so many other areas in my life. I got drug through the dirt last year, I'm still dusting myself off, but I'm walking while I'm doing it. Progress.....
