Hey friends!!
You guys ever heard a saying or something that goes like "you can't just put a band aid over it" meaning that putting a band aid on the "something" doesn't fix it...it only masks it temporaily.
Typically when I've heard this saying the "band aid" was a negative. This saying was referring to needing to deal with the issue, instead of "covering it up" or "shoving it under the rug"
Well can I just tell you when it comes to matters of the heart, sometimes a band aid is EXACTLY
what you need.
So August officially sucked______________{insert colorful curse words here!!!}
No joke it was the worst month of my year. Up until August life really had been a mad dash to figure out details...You know things like where I was going to live, how I was going to get a car, how I was supposed to pay my bills without any income, complete a home school year, not fall to pieces, raise a son, and put a whole new life together. You know, just minor details like that...So needless to say my mind was pretty occupied on getting those things taken care of.
Now life has for the most part settled in. I'm in phase one of my new life. My primary bases and necessities are taken care of, which leaves a lot of open time for your mind to think about things.....which is exactly what mine did on what began to feel like a continuous basis. The reality of my life, my divorce and the details surrounding it all smacked me in the face daily, minute by minute many times to an absolute tortuous point. I was totally stripped of nearly all my joy and would be fine one minute and devastated the next. This was what most of August honestly looked like. Tears came in the morning on the way to work, they came at the first sight of light my eyes saw in the morning and they came at the close of many of my days.
You guys ever heard a saying or something that goes like "you can't just put a band aid over it" meaning that putting a band aid on the "something" doesn't fix it...it only masks it temporaily.
Typically when I've heard this saying the "band aid" was a negative. This saying was referring to needing to deal with the issue, instead of "covering it up" or "shoving it under the rug"
Well can I just tell you when it comes to matters of the heart, sometimes a band aid is EXACTLY
what you need.
So August officially sucked______________{insert colorful curse words here!!!}
No joke it was the worst month of my year. Up until August life really had been a mad dash to figure out details...You know things like where I was going to live, how I was going to get a car, how I was supposed to pay my bills without any income, complete a home school year, not fall to pieces, raise a son, and put a whole new life together. You know, just minor details like that...So needless to say my mind was pretty occupied on getting those things taken care of.
Now life has for the most part settled in. I'm in phase one of my new life. My primary bases and necessities are taken care of, which leaves a lot of open time for your mind to think about things.....which is exactly what mine did on what began to feel like a continuous basis. The reality of my life, my divorce and the details surrounding it all smacked me in the face daily, minute by minute many times to an absolute tortuous point. I was totally stripped of nearly all my joy and would be fine one minute and devastated the next. This was what most of August honestly looked like. Tears came in the morning on the way to work, they came at the first sight of light my eyes saw in the morning and they came at the close of many of my days.
Why the heck am I showing you these photos? Why would I even take them?
Because I believe in sharing our life stories with others. To not let the lows or even the highs be in vein. I believe in sharing them with others. Sharing what we've learned, how we've processed and how we've grown through it all. Our stories may be unique to us, but many of us have similar journeys, struggles and life lessons. I feel we need to share, to let others know that they're not alone and at the end of the day that it's all gonna be good if you choose it to be.
This is a huge reason this blog began, so that through me maybe someone wouldn't feel so alone, wouldn't feel like they were the only one going through something or feeling a certain way.
Divorce now is part of my journey so I share these photos because it's real. I'm not the only woman on the planet who has or will go through a divorce unfortunately. I want to show this journey, to not let it be in vein. I'm walking through this journey not only for myself, but for the women I don't even know who one day may stumble across this little blog. I want them to see me, in all my phases and be comforted that they are not alone and that they too will make it.
NOW, that you know what August looked and felt like let me tell you about this band aid concept. I was a bleeding mess in August. I was dealing with and processing some heavy stuff. What I needed by the end of August was a band aid. Yes, we definitely need to completely process through our crap so that we can move to wholeness, but we also need periods of rest, periods of time where we put a band aid on it so that it feels a little better. Put a band aid on it so that we don't constantly see it or feel it at that moment to allow ourselves some rest before we go at it again. After about a 30 day, day in and day out major processing fest, it was time for me to be bandaged.
For me this came in the form of gentle and loving women coming alongside me in amazing and gentle conversation. Conversations about the future, not the immediate. Conversations about God and where he was taking me, and what he was planning for my future. We talked about the things that give rest your heart. Those gentle words wrapped me and allowed me to have comfort, finally after what felt like so long. Without that band aid at the end of August I don't know how I would be feeling at this point. I'm truly aware that I currently have this band aid and that under it there still is a nasty wound trying to heal. I can feel it still, the pain is just not throbbing..it's dull right now, and for that I'm thankful. Overall I'm in a period of rest, and I need it. Soon I know that it will be time to rip that sucker off and go in the trenches again...it's what's gotta be done in order to be truly free and without holes in the heart.
This post is not one of saddness, but of realness. I am ok, I will be ok and all is well. Thanks for journeying with me dear friends, I love you all very much!
Because I believe in sharing our life stories with others. To not let the lows or even the highs be in vein. I believe in sharing them with others. Sharing what we've learned, how we've processed and how we've grown through it all. Our stories may be unique to us, but many of us have similar journeys, struggles and life lessons. I feel we need to share, to let others know that they're not alone and at the end of the day that it's all gonna be good if you choose it to be.
This is a huge reason this blog began, so that through me maybe someone wouldn't feel so alone, wouldn't feel like they were the only one going through something or feeling a certain way.
Divorce now is part of my journey so I share these photos because it's real. I'm not the only woman on the planet who has or will go through a divorce unfortunately. I want to show this journey, to not let it be in vein. I'm walking through this journey not only for myself, but for the women I don't even know who one day may stumble across this little blog. I want them to see me, in all my phases and be comforted that they are not alone and that they too will make it.
NOW, that you know what August looked and felt like let me tell you about this band aid concept. I was a bleeding mess in August. I was dealing with and processing some heavy stuff. What I needed by the end of August was a band aid. Yes, we definitely need to completely process through our crap so that we can move to wholeness, but we also need periods of rest, periods of time where we put a band aid on it so that it feels a little better. Put a band aid on it so that we don't constantly see it or feel it at that moment to allow ourselves some rest before we go at it again. After about a 30 day, day in and day out major processing fest, it was time for me to be bandaged.
For me this came in the form of gentle and loving women coming alongside me in amazing and gentle conversation. Conversations about the future, not the immediate. Conversations about God and where he was taking me, and what he was planning for my future. We talked about the things that give rest your heart. Those gentle words wrapped me and allowed me to have comfort, finally after what felt like so long. Without that band aid at the end of August I don't know how I would be feeling at this point. I'm truly aware that I currently have this band aid and that under it there still is a nasty wound trying to heal. I can feel it still, the pain is just not throbbing..it's dull right now, and for that I'm thankful. Overall I'm in a period of rest, and I need it. Soon I know that it will be time to rip that sucker off and go in the trenches again...it's what's gotta be done in order to be truly free and without holes in the heart.
This post is not one of saddness, but of realness. I am ok, I will be ok and all is well. Thanks for journeying with me dear friends, I love you all very much!