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I had it all wrong

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So the title of this blog is Imperfectly Perfect right? So one might think that I totally embrace imperfections.  That I look at the imperfections within myself and my life, smile at them, shrug them off and blissfully continue my adventure...Well this is the hope, but that is still not my way.When I'm not perfect I freak, so guess what I must freak often because I'm never perfect! 
When I think of myself the first things that come to mind are my shortcomings. I'm know I'm awesome, but at the same time I'm very aware of where I fall short, probably too aware. I would never put myself in the "superwoman" category because that's the category of the women who are perfect. The ones who have it all together,all the time. I've read about how this "superwoman" doesn't actually exist, but even
after reading such things I couldn't believe it...I still observed too many examples of what seemed to be "perfect women" And what were these perfect women like? Well they were calm, patient, loving, not irritated, free, graceful. Then there was me, impatient, pissed and mad that I was unable to reach "superwoman" status yet again. I had failed. 
What I'm beginning to realize is that I've seen many, like MANY examples of emotions used to the extreme and cause negative effects. Emotions used in the wrong places, times and seen emotions get the best of people. I've seen emotions debilitate people, cause heartache and I think all of this has freaked me out. Somewhere along the way I decided that extreme emotion, primarily in the negative is scary, and must be avoided in order to not have life fall down around you. 
So through time I've developed a very fine line of emotion I allowed myself to walk on. Happiness is always allowed, but not too much happy because you don't want to fall off the road of reality and live only in dream land. That path lead me nowhere. I definitely did not allow extreme sadness because that is debilitating and believed I would be knocked out of the life race unable to get up and finish. Anger was stuffed and when it happened caused me to feel like a failure and to feel like something was wrong. Perfect people don't get angry after all. So I learned to put on a happy face, lace up my boots and march on. I started to get an extreme pride in this mentality. Although I definitely was not "superwoman" I felt I was becoming like iron. Issues, trouble, sadness I felt bounced off of me. I was strong and no matter what I marched on with a smile on my face.
Well the smile might have been there but iron I definitely was not. Those things that I thought were bouncing off were just piling up at my feet. While not looking down and doing my best to march on I wasn't looking down at what was piling up under me. So what happened? 
I fell...
And what was on the ground what was around me? Everything I thought I shook off and walked past.
So on the ground I have begun to see some things. The first is that the superwoman doesn't exist, but in fact a woman is super if she has learned how to manage her emotions well more times than not. She deals with her emotions, allows herself the freedom to have emotions. To feel and process those emotions. 
Feel + process + emotion = breakthrough and healing

Stuffing + ignoring = turmoil and chaos 
I love that quote. I think it's also important to remember that everyone has their "stuff" just like we do. Most times we don't know the whole story, or see the entire pictureof other people's lives and worlds. When you only see a partial picture, and what yousee seems to be "glittery" and amazing it's easy to look at the crap in your life and feellike you don't measure up. This quote is a great way for me to remember the truth. 
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