Just a bit of background here: It was extremely important to me, that after becoming single I didn't run out and jump into a new relationship. I knew that would be nothing but a band-aid, that would stick for a while but not serve the purpose of true healing. Another person was not going to fix this...time was. I also didn't want to get into something covering up a bloody heart. Yeah, I was messy there for a while, divorce kinda does that to you....unexpected divorce really does that to ya!
Point being I knew I wasn't ready. I wasn't going to be giving someone a whole or complete person. I didn't want that for them...or for myself. Can I just get a high five right now for not choosing dysfunction again!? It was 100% clear that I needed time to get my life and heart straight and clear. I needed to see that I could be ok and happy on my own. It's taken a year... It's been on heck of an emotional year. Painful, yet beautiful...and guess what, I'm standing, heart intact, healing more and more each day. I'm functioning, more joyful and happy than I've ever been.
Soooo, recently I started chatting with one of thee most beautiful looking men I have ever seen on the entire planet. You guys, serrr-iouslyyyyyy. I think these types of words I'm using as describe this person would excite any single woman...Great right!? Umm, not so much. You see, it's become clear that on this one...my best bet is to let it goooo. But, can I just tell you howmuch that sucks! It sucks like stomp your foot on the ground kinda sucks! Let me say it again just for emphasis, it suckkssss when you have to pass on a sexy faced man!
But at the same turn, and most importantly, I've realized 100% what roads I do and do not want to go down in future relationships. I have a clear idea of the man I'm looking for and the one I'm not looking for. I know who I am, and what my value is. I know sometimes heartache is inevitable but that I also must protect my heart from obvious zones that appear to have the flashing danger sign hanging on them...I owe that to myself. This time is such a clean slate for me that I'm determined to do what I can to not create senseless messes or un-necessary marks on my heart.
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This year has taught me soo many life lessons and set me in a place of being complete with or without a significant other. Am I excited for my new sexy faced partner to come into my world...absolutely, but I'm willing and ok with waiting for the right one, the real one to enter.
But can I just say dammit one last time!!!
Until next time my single and married friends!
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But at the same turn, and most importantly, I've realized 100% what roads I do and do not want to go down in future relationships. I have a clear idea of the man I'm looking for and the one I'm not looking for. I know who I am, and what my value is. I know sometimes heartache is inevitable but that I also must protect my heart from obvious zones that appear to have the flashing danger sign hanging on them...I owe that to myself. This time is such a clean slate for me that I'm determined to do what I can to not create senseless messes or un-necessary marks on my heart.
This year has taught me soo many life lessons and set me in a place of being complete with or without a significant other. Am I excited for my new sexy faced partner to come into my world...absolutely, but I'm willing and ok with waiting for the right one, the real one to enter.
But can I just say dammit one last time!!!
Until next time my single and married friends!
{via}